Well I am not much of a writer but I have a few things on my mind lately and I can't stop thinking about them.. I'm loosing sleep over them so it's time to air this out. lol. Well, one at a time anyways.

So lately I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do when I “grow up”. I am 23 years old and I still feel just as lost about a career choice as I did when I was in high school. I have had a few different jobs in a few different fields. I worked in sales, in an office doing accounting and payroll and now I work in the health care industry in general services. None of these jobs I required any type of education besides a high school diploma. I never feel like I am fully satisfied with any job I have held. A lot probably has to do with the salary I receive, which isn’t poor but by no means do I make a lot. I think I fear growing old and have never have done anything recognizable as a career choice. I’m not saying I want to have some job where I have a significant impact on the world or anything, but just something I can be proud of. Something people close to me can be proud of.

When I was fresh out of high school I attended university for a year in hopes to become a elementary school teacher. It turned out to be more of a waste of time than any type of experience for me. I over packed my schedule, was working two part time jobs and trying to pay rent, and be a kid and party. Obviously it never worked out. Then I worked in a retail store. That was horrible. Next I decided I wanted to work in an office. I started doing reception then eventually got trained to do bookkeeping and payroll. I worked in various offices doing the same type of work for a few years. I got laid off in early spring of 2010 due to a shortage of work. This was more of a blessing than it sounds. I found myself dreading going to work and when I was there the day dragged on for what felt like was days. So with all this free time I had I decided this would be the time for me to “find myself” and decide what I truly wanted to do.

I decided that I wanted a job that I could help people. Something more rewarding at the end of the day than knowing I balanced the accounts. Lol. So I went to various Long Term Care Facilities and dropped off resumes. I got hired at one I was really hoping to get for a position in general services. That means I do light cleaning duties in resident rooms (dusting, floors, windows nothing “unpleasant”). I have been working there for just over a year and once again I find myself getting bored at my job. I don’t dread going I just get so bored when I am there. It doesn’t keep my mind active. So once again, I am questioning “what do I want to do when I grow up”.

And that leaves me with more questions , will I ever "grow up"? Will I ever know what I want to do?